I want to finish.

If there's something that I don't like about waiting is feeling that whatever it is I'm waiting for will never come. The finishing up of my Wreck this journal seems to be so far away from me! It is kind of driving me crazy.

I take it to school, I bring it back. I go for coffee with friends and think of taking it over there, but then I decide against it, when I get back I realize I could have done something interesting over there. It sits next to my laptop in my brother's unused desk. It looks at me. It screams "Y U NO FINISH ME?" and I just ignore it. I might color something here and there, but then, I'll get bored. I'm also afraid of finishing it.

What will happen when I no longer feel the need to add more to it? Will that day ever come? When will I be satisfied with it? Everyday I keep adding stuff to pages that are already "done" and leaving in blank pages that need to be filled out!

I feel I go nowhere with it. And I'm just too anxious to take photos of the finished thing.

I don't like you when you talk to me.

You think I'm your friend, you salute me as if I were your friend and all I can think of is "will you please just shut up?"
What made you think that you might have seen me somewhere?

I'm sorry.
I should just...

Beautiful my make the night.

If I.

Would you mind if I tell you that I miss you?
Would you mind if I call you someday and say that I want to see you again?
Would you mind if I look you up every once in a while?
Would you mind if I ask you if you ever think of me?
Would you mind if I hope you miss me?
Would you mind if I yell how heartbroken you made me feel?
Would you mind...?

Feel.

That warm fuzzy feeling is there once again,
I worry that I might get used to it and feel it no more.
Something tells me that I shouldn't worry,
that I should just enjoy it and let it fill me up with warmth.
Perhaps it is just bubbling up inside me,
it could shoot out like a rainbow of smiles.

Primer día de clases.

Llegué a la escuela demasiado temprano para mi gusto, pero eso estuvo bien. Durante toda la primera hora no sé que fue de mi, es en serio, en algún momento sé que me puse a pensar en quienes estarían "tuiteando" a esa hora, yo estaba más dormida que despierta. A la siguiente llegó Carla a darnos la horripilante noticia de que ella ya no nos dará Inglés, quesque porque la escuela se está quedando sin maestros (eso fue lo que mi mente dormida captó). Después llegó la nueva maestra, al parecer se ve mala pero no lo es.

Ya después de eso no recuerdo bien que sucedió. Sé que hubo más clases, más profesores pero no lo ubico.
Sufrí de aburrición total. También llegué a ver como a tres tuiteros, de los cuales me sorprendí por ver a dos ahí. A ninguno saludé.

Lo de viborear a los de primero fue muy decepcionante. No hubo algo bueno y para acabarla de chingar resulta que conozco a tres de ahí, aunque talvez ellos ni me conozcan o se acuerden de mí.

being horrorified.

Have you ever been so scared by something in your life that you can't sleep nor close your eyes? I know you have. We all have, at some point, been horrorified by something (or someone). It's a really strong feeling that keeps you awake at night, and you can't even get a hold of yourself by morning. Then you think "I will forget this, I will forget this" but you keep remebering it, and you keep on being afraid. There's no going back, there is no where to run. You know you have to stop it before it consumes you, before it turns you inside out. And then, there's nothing: you forget completly what it was that was making you fear. But, as you try to remember what was it, you get that shiver that warns you you're about to remember. After that, it all strikes back into you as if you have just been shot. See? I told you. There's no way out of being horrorified. You can forget, but it'll always be there.